Thank-you and much success!!

By Anita L. Coles

I have really enjoyed this class and my colleagues. I would like to thank-you all because of you have grown more; understood more; felt confident more; and felt a part of a team more. I did not realize how time has flown… I am sure it was because I have had a great deal of fun in this class, partly because I found this class extremely interesting and the other part was because of how each of my colleagues have made me go beyond my own thinking to discover that there is a whole new way of thinking and learning…once again THANK-YOU ALL and I wish each and every one a successful journey!! : )… If you are ever in the Las Cruces area please look my establishment up “Little Steps/New Beginning Childcare and Learning Facility “  You all have truly have helped  me grow with also has help me& my staff become an even better childcare provider…

The five stages team development

The five stages team development

By Anita L. Coles

I think the hardest group I have encounter was my social work colleagues group. We had to do a funding proposal. There were four in the group three women and one male.  Although we were familiar with one another’s faces and names, we had not gotten around to any formal introductions.

            Our first meeting classified as the “formatting” (Abudi, 2009-2010, p. 2) took place in our college classroom at that time; we made our introductions, as well as establishing who was going to do what. The assigning parts were not hard because only one member was aware, at the time, of the mechanics of putting together and presenting a proposal of any category and because of deadline date was very short we voted hands down that Earl would be the team leader, however, as other parts were being assigned the conflicts begun.

            Some felt that their assigned parts were either asking of them too much or too little. Earl being the lead person had those individuals who were unhappy with their assignments switch and all was well. There were very little disagreements because the team leader was very knowledgeable concerning the layout of our perspective funding proposal. Although Earl left each member to work on their assigned part of the proposal, he did leave himself available as needed.  In fact, the team met and worked on the proposal at Earl and his wife’s home.  

            The last part of the assignment was conducted in the classroom. The last part of the proposal was tenuous because all the facts and figures had to match so that when the team stood before the classroom and the instructor every part of the proposal should be easy enough for a layman, and professional enough to captivate the funding to team. The proposal was a success. Once the project was over, the team did split up; however, the team became very close. After graduating the College of Social Work, Earl and I were hired and worked at the same job. Other team members worked at different agencies but still kept in touch.

I think even thought my colleagues and I may not know each other than pictures and blog reviews I still feel a certain amount of closeness.

Reference

Abudi, G. (2009-2010). The five stages of team development: A case study  

Disagreements and conflicts

Disagreements and conflicts

As I stated in my discussion, it seems a bit strange that the most of our assignments have been about a situation that I am or just finished going through. Than it, once again, hit me, it just seems that way because or courses are about everyday life situations. In any case, I am going through a conflict with a very close family member and have been for months.

                The problem is that this individual has been going through some very serious financial problems. This individual is constantly borrowing money from anybody who will loan money, but when it is time for this person to pay the money back the loaner has to run this individual down for the repayment. However, this is not the worse part most of the time this individual does not pay the entire loan back.

The problem is that because of my business and my line of work in the past I am well known, so what happens it that people will either come to me to complain and or expect me to encourage repayment. In the past I would try talk with the relative and this is what started our conflicts. To be honest up until I reviewed our week five materials I felt in the middle, resentful, and anger that my relative was still borrowing and that individuals were still loaning this person monies. I have learned so much by reading our week five reading material.

The information in which I read is not as if it were my first time being aware of certain parts of the information, but I think that in some cases it was my first time really listening. I realized what part that I was playing in this merry-go-round. I like helping people, and my line of work has been mostly helping individuals experiencing hardships. I became embarrassed to know that my relative was asking for help in the name of hardship and even more so embarrassed when those individuals who loan money ask me for help in trying to recover their loses. What I did to try to help resolve this situation is I offer to help my relative do a budget which they declined the help. I provided my relative with information about “free” financial counseling seminars.

The relative made excuses as to why they could not attend any of the seminars. The last thing that I offered was a set of CD’s that my son had made for me (my son and his wife when living in Germany did free financial seminars in their church; these seminar were supervised by a successful, well-known TV and Radio financial advisor).

The relative agreed to take the CD’s home but conveniently leaves behind every time. What I think that I learned was that I allow myself to me be in middle, and  realizing that to be a fact, I allowed myself to be dismissed from the whole situation all together.

I explained to my relative’s loaners that knowing the possibility of loan repayment and still willing to make the loans, in my opinion, meant that the loaners are getting something out of making the loans possible.  My relative is fully aware of the situation and the problem is between the loaners and my relative not me. I informed the loaners as well the borrower that I would no longer take or be a part of the disagreements and or their conflicts.

 I really believe that in order to resolve conflicts at least one half of the participates needs to be willing to look within themselves to see what part they are playing and need to be willing to want to changed. What I saw in this situation is a “lack of fairness,” ‘When someone uses more than a fair share of resources, it commonly leads to conflict” (O’Hair, Wiemann, p. 225).

                                           

                                               Reference

O’ Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication an interdiction.  

               Bedford/St. Martin’s Boston. New York

Who Am I as a Communicator?

Who Am I as a Communicator?

By

Anita L. Coles

          

       In taking the test I assigned numbers to make sure that I would not confused whose scores were whose. I assigned the numbers 1, 2, & 3, me being number and so on. Our scores were almost identical except for the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale score (Taylor & Francis Group, 2009). I scored myself a 70. Number two scored me a 57, and number three a 63. 

         

        After reading both score results I knew without a doubt that I fell under the moderate level. After reading the significant level I knew right away that this level did not describe me at all. I was very surprise that our scores were so far apart. I am not too sure why I scored myself in the 70 area. The only thing that comes to my mind is that I did not want to sound like I was trying to toot my own horn, and would therefore rather underscore myself than sound conceited.

         

            In the Listening Styles Profile (Taylor & Francis Group, 2009), I fell under the Group 1 level. In the Communication Anxiety Inventory (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009) number two scored me at 35, number three at 31, and I scored myself at 35, working with families and with the public for so many years have helped me to feel comfortable with public speaking, as well as feeling comfortable with talking for the first time with new people. However, if someone would have tested me on these questions fifteen years ago it would be a totally different story. All I can say is I am happy that Public Speaking was part of my college degree plan.

          

            Another thing that surprise me was although I try to be very conscious of how I listen to others, especially when I was working with families who had children with delays, I wanted to make sure that the families always felt and believed that I cared about them and their children (I can be somewhat of a dreamer if I am not careful), however, I was not sure if anyone else notice if I was attentive listener when others were talking to me. I feel super good knowing that it (according to those who scored me) is evident that I am a good listener. I think that this will also encourage me in continuing to want to work even harder on improving my listening skills.

References

Communication Measures: Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E.

           (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New

           York: Routledge

Communication Measure: Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse,

          E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research

          measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Three strategies

Three strategies

By

Anita L. Coles

 

Before I moved to New Mexico I think that I would have to think long and hard about this particular assignment. However, since living in New Mexico I have had to make many adjustments some hard and some not so hard. Because I love meeting people and because I love learning about other cultures, so starting up a conversation with people I don’t know is really part of who I am.

 In fact, my children as they got older would refuse to go to anyway with me such as Wal-Mart because while standing in line if a person smiles or appears to be friendly, or have a baby sitting in their cart I will (if the stranger does not first) strike up a conversation that would many times continue even after our going through checkout.

I have also met many individuals because of my career and or having young children involved in certain activities such as church functions and school sports/activities. I think that I have always assumed that most of the people in which I approach and or came in contact with could see that I am a “nice, friendly, and caring person,” and would they would therefore welcome me with open arms.  however, after reading certain articles such as, “Interpersonal Communication and Diversity Adapting to Others,” (Allyn & Bacon, 2011), I cannot help but to wonder if I could have or should have handle how I have approach a person for the very first time in a different or better manner.

In thinking back on certain situations, and depending on certain individual’s culture I could have come on as being a pushy and or arrogant individual instead of as a friendly individual. The three strategies I could use to help you communicate more effectively with the people or groups:

1.   To begin communication with light talk nothing real serious like politics or religion (Allyn & Bacon, 2011, p. 14).

2.  Instead of trying to find something to talk about in the other person’s culture which I am guilty of and or  trying to avoid talking about my own, culture which I am also guilty of, practice “other oriented  ” (Allyn & Bacon, 2011, p. 15).

3.   Although I believe that it is always a good idea to learn about different cultures I have learn that it is never a smart idea to  assume that what one person practice in a culture that  appears to be the same is the same. That is to say, never assume similarities in fact I think for me it would be much better if I am to assume, to assume that no one person is the same. (Allyn & Bacon, 2011, p. 18).

 

 

Reference

Allyn & Bacon, Inc. (2011). "Interpersonal

     communication and diversity: adapting to others

     85–114. Clearance Center.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal Communication

By

Anita L. Coles

The movie that I watched begin with a group of young children, the children look to be between eight to ten years of age. It looks like the children dwell in some type of group home or school.  (I had my daughter to turn to a movie with my eyes closed so that I would not know the title of the movie)

Looking at the picture with the sound completely off it seems as if the children are in the backyard running around as if they have gotten into some type of trouble they look surprised or frightened. Although the children look somewhat disturbed they also look like they are being mischievous. It is hard to tell with the sound down. The children ran to the back door; an adult male figure opened the door.

About seven of the children are standing in front of the door or close to the door. The adult male starts from the end of the row of children and looks to be slapping all of the children at hand.  The children look surprise but not really stunted or hurt more like they did not expect the slaps.  Two boys begin to talk and start walking fast and then begin to run…13 years later the boys are now adult (I am assuming that these boys are the same boys who ran away when they were very young boys). The two men are eating lunch and talking and the other one is listening but seems annoyed at the one who is talking.

The man who is talking has a smile on his face and has picked up a jar of sugar as if he is preparing himself a cup of coffee. The second man reaches for the jar of sugar and while trying to pour sugar in his cup the sugar come undone all the sugar pours into the second man’s cup. The second man looks very annoyed.  The first man continues to talk as if nothing happened out of the ordinary. 

This seems to further annoy the second man.  The first man stands to his feet begins to walk away and with his back to the second man, the first man continues to talk to the second man.  The second man while looking upset begins to talk to the first man. The first man does not turn around but does appear to respond to what the second’s comments.  The men seem to be casing homes and breaking into the homes. The homes look like they belong to very rich individuals.

Although the second man seems to go along with the first he seems very reluctant to do so.

The second man meets a very pretty young woman. The woman appears to be going along with whatever the two men are doing.  

One day both men appear to get into a huge disagreement and part ways.  One day while the second man and the women were walking in what looked like a meadow the man hand what look to be a letter in his hand; after reading the letter the man went down to his knees and the women kneel down in front of the man as if she was trying to console the man.  

 (With the volume on) This movie was about two brothers who were in an orphanage. They were pranksters.  The last prank that they pulled man the housemaster very angry and he (the headmaster) punish all who that was involved by slapping their little faces. This made the brothers angry so the brother ran away.  The youngest brother had the strongest well so he was able to talk the older brother into doing whatever he (the youngest brother) wanted

The youngest brother talked the oldest brother into a life of crime until he (the oldest brother) found a woman. After meeting the women the brother tried to continence his younger brother to give up life of crime but the brother would not. The younger brother and his older brother, along with and his now wife went separate ways, the younger brother continued his life of crime; the older brother started living the straight and narrow.

One day while he and his wife were taking a walk the older brother received a letter informing him that is younger brother had gotten brutally beaten up and as a result had died.  The other brother fell to his knees and his wile knell down on her knees to comfort him…end of story.   

It just goes to show that we really cannot always look at a situation and assume what we see or what we think we see is the truth and or the facts to a situation.

 

 

I though t that the boys were good friends or perhaps brothers. I could tell that the boys/men were close and that they did mostly if not all everything together. I could tell that man of the men was more spontaneous than the other man, However, I was very shock to learn that the one the daring and spontaneous man was the younger and not the older man. I just assume that the one who was always holding back with what appeared to be doubts and concerns was the younger man.

 

 

 

References

The name of the movie is Brothers Bloom:  the movie is considered to be an “Action/Adventure, Comedy, Drama and Romance Movie.” The actors are: Rachel Weisz, Adrien Brody, and Mark Ruffalo.  (Channel 273)