Disagreements and conflicts

Disagreements and conflicts

As I stated in my discussion, it seems a bit strange that the most of our assignments have been about a situation that I am or just finished going through. Than it, once again, hit me, it just seems that way because or courses are about everyday life situations. In any case, I am going through a conflict with a very close family member and have been for months.

                The problem is that this individual has been going through some very serious financial problems. This individual is constantly borrowing money from anybody who will loan money, but when it is time for this person to pay the money back the loaner has to run this individual down for the repayment. However, this is not the worse part most of the time this individual does not pay the entire loan back.

The problem is that because of my business and my line of work in the past I am well known, so what happens it that people will either come to me to complain and or expect me to encourage repayment. In the past I would try talk with the relative and this is what started our conflicts. To be honest up until I reviewed our week five materials I felt in the middle, resentful, and anger that my relative was still borrowing and that individuals were still loaning this person monies. I have learned so much by reading our week five reading material.

The information in which I read is not as if it were my first time being aware of certain parts of the information, but I think that in some cases it was my first time really listening. I realized what part that I was playing in this merry-go-round. I like helping people, and my line of work has been mostly helping individuals experiencing hardships. I became embarrassed to know that my relative was asking for help in the name of hardship and even more so embarrassed when those individuals who loan money ask me for help in trying to recover their loses. What I did to try to help resolve this situation is I offer to help my relative do a budget which they declined the help. I provided my relative with information about “free” financial counseling seminars.

The relative made excuses as to why they could not attend any of the seminars. The last thing that I offered was a set of CD’s that my son had made for me (my son and his wife when living in Germany did free financial seminars in their church; these seminar were supervised by a successful, well-known TV and Radio financial advisor).

The relative agreed to take the CD’s home but conveniently leaves behind every time. What I think that I learned was that I allow myself to me be in middle, and  realizing that to be a fact, I allowed myself to be dismissed from the whole situation all together.

I explained to my relative’s loaners that knowing the possibility of loan repayment and still willing to make the loans, in my opinion, meant that the loaners are getting something out of making the loans possible.  My relative is fully aware of the situation and the problem is between the loaners and my relative not me. I informed the loaners as well the borrower that I would no longer take or be a part of the disagreements and or their conflicts.

 I really believe that in order to resolve conflicts at least one half of the participates needs to be willing to look within themselves to see what part they are playing and need to be willing to want to changed. What I saw in this situation is a “lack of fairness,” ‘When someone uses more than a fair share of resources, it commonly leads to conflict” (O’Hair, Wiemann, p. 225).

                                           

                                               Reference

O’ Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication an interdiction.  

               Bedford/St. Martin’s Boston. New York